I have been putting on make up a few days during office hour. To practice for my graduation use mah. LOL! I cant say i achieved a good make over, but then at least it doesnt look so complicated. Complicated = a big chunk of pink or blue of eye shadow. LOL!
I didnt have office key to access that morning. I was there rather early to prepare for an important meeting in nilai. Mana tau i arrive so early, no one was there. -_-" So i took out my cellphone and start camwhoring abit. lol! I put some mascara, eyeliner and browny earth tone of eye shadow. Really little of base and just a little highlight on my cheek. After all it's to work & meeting, not to go shopping or anything. LOL!
I know it's yet to achieve a better tone. but then.. how do i look above?
It's complicated. How should i even explain this.. we who are total different from our opposite sex, could never understand what they are thinking.
It was a thought when my senior in work told me this, that our office had been hiring more female workers than male. That's because of the workload & effieciency difference between 2 sexual. I've seen how my senior work in the office, and in comparing her with some guys i know out there... it's seriously the data how we girls key in into our brain. We could be like a computer, we key in, we do it, we produce and we even accomplish them with all our souls and mind. Even if it would take half of our life or time away, we would still struggle and fight for it.
Men, on the other hand, key in the data, they will start analysis and develop them. Buble diagram the the data and even might brain storm it. They could be "too smart" too sometimes, they tend to will keep their develop data with themselves and only release some info day by day. Holding the power with them and keeping their ability enclose and could pretend whatever they would want. They key in the data, they keep, they will produce things accordingly through what the requirement wants, and keep themselves being happy. Easy money.
I have this data which never fails to keep me running. I produce and i would want to get what i deserves. If i dont get them, i'll quit and make sure you suffer along too. But lately i doesnt even bother much anymore, because i have been working til late everyday and i couldnt even recall how a sunset looks like anymore. Nobody even cares whether i had taken dinner or what time i off work anyway. Not even my closest ones...
Not because they doesnt care, that's because they trust i'll do well.
I'm good in making excuses to keep myself cool sometimes. I could be not talking to anybody for a month and still doing very well. I could be not doing anything but still keeping myself alive. I could have no complain for a month and suck up all my problems to myself. I'm capable in anything, but all i ever wanted all these while is to commit suicide. LOL! Mayb i sounds negative, but it's a positive thought for me. Because i'm living in a world of stress. Not many know that i'm living in a quite stressful world since i was really young. Whether stress or not, we would still die in the end. So why putting up faces showing to the world how unhappy we are? That's why i'm 80% always holding up a happy face when i'm out there, but who would know that in my room, in my own buble space, i actually keep my smiles and look at the wall next to my bed and starts crying? No one could ever caught that moment of me. LOL!
Not because no one knows, because why bother when there's so much fun out there?
It's real complicated and frustrated sometimes. Men and women are just different in coping their stress. When men is dealing with stress, they lock themselves up and not talking to anybody. When women stress, they talk. Some of my friends are starting the understand the existance my pooh bear. He is my split. Things that i couldnt do or wouldnt dare to say it out from my mouth, i will go through him and expresses them out. But since now i hardly gonna play with my pooh bear, i'm starting to talk to my phone. LOL!
When i'm home, i'll be saying goodnight or talking to my boyfriend's picture in my hp when he's busy or not talking to me. Sounds pathetic. But i just need to talk to release my stress. I cant simply just pop out to my friends who's not in the working field, because they might not understand. I cant pop to friends who are working, because they might be occuring the same stress or worse ones. Such a burden, i should suck up and change them into writting.
I know.... talking to pictures or softoys are useless, they are not responding. Recalling back, even in my life, it's me who are doing all the jobs. 80% of the times is me calling my friends, texting them, doing the topics, trying to merge in.... bla bla bla. It could be such a sad life that even if i dont contact them for a month, no one would bothers. I have this thought now, WHY SHOULDNT I EVEN CARE ANYMORE. I really dont want to take so much moves anymore, you want to talk to me, my ears are ready, if not... well.. why would you want to bother about the if not part anyway. LOL! You'll probably just ignore me and do your own things.
I dont know how this post suppose to be from men vs women to all about me already. Yea.. that's another realization, people tends to talk about "ME".. they talk about themselves. They wanted attention, they talk about them. They wanted to be the hot topic, they share experience. They wanted to be remembered, they act something. This apply to both male and female, dont you think so?
Men, when they achieve something, then they will file the data and start logging onto the next data (direction/motivation). Women, they got that data, and cling onto it. It's really a life cycle, from generation to generation without fail. It's in the gene. LOL!
Life's seriously gotta go on. Probably that's why because i enjoy looking at my own blood flowing because it's telling on the cruelty of this world, the true face, the realization of life. It's torturing, but the pain will keep me alive. And now.. this part of me i had manage to keep it real lock behind, but somehow.. i felt my life is lack of care/cherish from elseone.
Not because NO ONE cherish, because they think i have lots and i am fine. LOL! what nonsense i am writting now. XD
I'M TIRED. Can someone help me to google out what's the sickness or cure for below?
When i sleep: - I had a little fever. - I dont feel well - I had a little headache when i wake up - I only have all above during sleep - I had lost my appetite (but will force myself to chew them and swallow)
I hope it's just me feeling exhausted from work... or izzit something else?
Do you : Confused thinking YES Long-lasting sadness or irritability YES Extreme highs and lows in mood YES.. but seriously controlling it and be positive now. Excessive fear, worry, or anxiety YES Social withdrawal Not really.. but i dont really have much friends to go out anyway.. Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits YES. Strong feelings of anger Not lately. But still a little while working. Delusions or hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that are not really there) YES Increasing inability to cope with daily problems and activities YES Thoughts of suicide YES.. as always Denial of obvious problems YES Many unexplained physical problems YES Abuse of drugs and/or alcohol No Money.
I've just changed my blogskin.. Dont ask me why i did. I really miss my taipei101 blogskin (the previous one) That one more feel.. TT i love it so much that the system got jealous that i had been using it for so many years and finally it turned the jealousy to hatred and..... *)@(#*@)(#*)@(!*#)@(!*#
I'm trying to make this new blogskin looks like a mag webbie. =P Yalah.. i'm not pro in this field, but then i love exploration on html codes. HAHAHAHA! Yeap! i'm crazy again! Who dont huh?
Quote of the day:"People who are not crazy, are just being tame."
Above is what i had bought for 2 days. Dont mistaken about the rat and winnie the pooh. I bought the rat a month ago, but the pooh is being given by Wenny unnie who came down from sg. We met up just now. It was a coincidence that she was staying in One World Hotel.. (so near my house) Seriously, i think i need to get someone to control of my $ Who wants to be my money keeper!!!><"
I have been working real hard in office.. hard as in, working OTs almost everyday.. with stress and stuff.. hectic and stuff... then there's always 'gek sei' moment too. Hrrmm...
I was working for 2 hours in the morning in the office. Then headed off to Archidex09 in KLCC. Came back home like... 3pm? And slept til 5 something. Woke up and went to Tropicana city mall with my younger sis at 6pm and she had her dinner then we went to shop for her clothes.. Instead of her shopping.. i shopped. =.="
It was okay at first.. but then when i put my hands on the cosmetic section.. DOOMED. I still dont understand, why they are so expensive. ><" I didnt want to grab those palia ones (like my 2nd sis) which will fade after 2/3 hours.. Then what for you wear make up lahhh??? right??? So i have been taking advice from jiayi (my kbu clasmate) who always put up natural and sweet looking make up! Then from sching abit and from magazines. If you have my facebook, my profile photo is actually being make-up by jiayi! I love it. =P Then since now i am working already, of course i would love to look a little smart mah.. Then... quote from wenny 'when you see yourself being pretty, you will actually feel happy!' which is so damn true! When you hear from people saying that you look nice in your outfit or your hair or anything.. seriously i felt happy! But seriously, i am wondering who on earth created such thing call 'cosmetic'. So expensive... =___="
I guess.. there will be no more shoping for me this month.. LOL! The worse thing is.. i still havent get 'loose powder' yet.. Alright, i'm gonna bug cy to buy it. LOL!
Although it's such a big investment. but then come to think of it, it can last for a year! So the total it would be just RM1.25 a day for 1 year. If i use it daily.. (which i wont be) Still...... I AM GOING TO FREEZE MY CREDIT CARD FOR 2 BLARDY MONTH! HMPH!
Well. i have been working real hard. But i gotta play hard too! Right??? ^^ Thanks to Eichi, i am now currently playing 'Plants vs Zombie' at home.
Due to my hectic work, i only play this game on weekend or if i go home early on weekdays from work. Which.. i think i wont have much opportunity to go home straight at 630 any sooner this month and next month too... But nvm, lets talk about this game.
I cant say it's sort of a girls game, but its more like a brain game. You gotta earn 'sunshine' in order to buy the weapons to help you beat down the zombie. Of course, there's always cheat out there. But what's so fun if you play cheat always right? ^^
The hardest part is when the zoombie is coming near and i dont have enough 'sunshine' to buy the weapon to kill it.. or... THE BLARDY ZOMBIE EATEN MY WEAPON! lol! Then more and more stupid different kind of zombie appearing in each level... TT Damn creative this person who created this game. GAH!
I have been playing a week. and i'm still in lvl 3. I know i am slow.. but why not you come help me do my work so i can go play? =P Alright, i need to go kill more zombies now! lol! *treat them like those people who i hate. Grrrrr.....*
